he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
