i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
