If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
