Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
