walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
