Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
