why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
