"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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