i think my mom watched the whole time
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
