I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
