I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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