5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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