1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Reggie can tackle my bush.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
