I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
