i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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