So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I can text with my tongue
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
