you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Success! We fucked roommates!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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