Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
