Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
