Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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