This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
