i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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