the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
