Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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