Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
