I hope mine doesn't look like that
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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