david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
