Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
