I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
