Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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