It's just like the Real World with babies
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
