remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
is it fun? or sober?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
