Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize