I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
