i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Vodka?
Forever.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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