i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
