You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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