She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
