I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
two words: eviction party
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
