Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
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