What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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