Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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