i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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