and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
MIDGETS
????
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
