the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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