everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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