these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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