Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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