Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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