So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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