so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
